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Up the Down Steroid
Jimmy is in training for an upcoming sporting event and he's determined to win at any cost. Cartman feels he can easily take first place against Jimmy. He just has to convince the qualifying committee... 
The Cissy
Randy is harboring a giant secret and the pressure is getting to him. Meanwhile, Cartman calls Stan a cissy. 
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Weight Gain 4000
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Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remember what he wrote about.
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