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Crack Baby Athletic Association
Cartman has a new protege and plans to help out babies addicted to crack. Kyle is brought in on the ground floor of their new business venture, the "Crack Baby Athletic Association". 
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Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remember what he wrote about.
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