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Roger Ebert Should Lay off the Fatty Foods
The kids go on a field trip to the planetarium. All of the children except Cartman are acting wierd. As usual Stan and Kyle, with Kenny's sacrifice, try to get to bottom of the mystery. Meanwhile, Car... 
Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub
Stan's parents bring him to Mr. Mackey's party, but he gets sent down to the basement to be with the lame kids. Kyle and Stan's fathers experiment with their homosexual tendencies. The ATF is convince... 
Do the Handicapped go to Hell
The boys attend church and the priest puts the fear of hell in them. They must go to Sunday school and learn that they must confess their sins. The boys are worried about Timmy, after all, he can only... 
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In order to get out of school, the boys enter an anti-war demonstration. Not really knowing what they're protesting for, Mr. Garrison decides to teach the boys a lesson by making them write an essay about our founding fathers. Cartman, (being the lazy asshole that he is) says that studying is way too much for a nine-year-old to handle and decides to cook up a crazy scheme in order to get out of it. With a crashing boulder, and electrocution Cartman finally gets what he wants... a flash back.
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