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Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remembe... 
Cow Days
South Park's annual "Cow Days" party is happening! The cows become transfixed on a cow statue. In order to get the money they need to win Terrance and Phillip dolls, the boys sign Cartman up for a bul... 
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Cripple Fight
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Big Gay Al returns to South Park, only to be thrown out as Scoutmaster to the boys for being gay. The boys rally to his defense, with the help of the new "handi-capable" kid, Jimmy. But there's only room for one crippled kid in South Park, so Timmy and Jimmy throw off the gloves, as well as the crutches and wheelchair, in an all out slugfest to end all slugfests.
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