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Chickenpox
Cartman's mother plots to give the boys the chickenpox by sending them over to Kenny's for a sleepover. Both Stan and Cartman breakout, but Kyle remains immune. Kyle discovers "the parental conspiracy... 
Member Berries
Mr. Garrison is still on the campaign trail as the National Anthem gets a reboot by an American Icon. 
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While on a school field trip, Stan accidentally insults Tom Cruise again and sets off a chain reaction. 200 previously ridiculed celebrities stand strong in a class action lawsuit against the town of ... 
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Fun With Veal
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When the boys learn where veal comes from on a field trip to the local slaughterhouse, they instantly turn into junior eco-terrorists (call Tom Ridge!). After calf-napping all the future parmigiana meat in town, the boys blockade themselves in Stan's bedroom, where Stan develops a "genital" disease from his diet of fruits and vegetables. Maybe tortured baby cow meat really does a body good.
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