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Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut!
Dr. Mephisto is about to reveal who Eric Cartman's father really is! Glass shatters and gunshots ring out. A mysterious assailant apparently shot Mephisto while the lights were off. Much to Eric's cha... 
Weight Gain 4000
Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remembe... 
The Ungroundable
Butters is sure hes seen a Vampire at school but he cant get anyone to listen to him. Meanwhile, the Goth Kids are angry and frustrated when the other kids cant tell the difference between a Goth and ... 
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Jared Has Aides
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As the country becomes obsessed with a popular program for losing weight, the boys see their opportunity to become sponsored by a major restaurant chain in "Jared Has Aides." In Butters regimen to drop some pounds his parents ground him for getting lyposuction surgery. The plot thickens when the rival weight-loss spokesman finally "comes out" with the secret weapon he used in the fight against fat.
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