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D-Yikes!
Ms. Garrison's latest date goes so badly that she assigns the class the book report over the weekend, but the boys hire immigrant labor to write it. Meanwhile, Ms. Garrison becomes a lesbian and saves... 
Lice Capades
An infestation of head lice plagues South Park Elementary. When Garrison refuses to name names, Cartman finds a way to detect who has lice so they can make fun of the unfortunate kid. 
Funnybot
At the schools first annual Comedy Awards, Jimmy announces that the Germans are the least funny people in the world. Germany is highly insulted. They vow that retaliation toward the kids at South Park... 
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Cartman is convinced he is going through puberty since he started bleeding out of his ass. Dr. Mephisto gives Stan some hormones and he takes the entire bottle. Stan gets facial hair, boobs and his voice starts changing. People are waiting outside of Jesus' home to see what kind of miracle he offers which ends up involving a comeback performance of a very old Rod Stewart and eventually an appearance by God.
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