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Hooked on Monkey Phonics
Mrs. Cartman is about to give Eric a present. Of course Eric is hoping it will be some kind of toy, but it ends up being Hooked On Monkey Phonics to help him win the big South Park Annual Spelling Bee... 
Terrance & Phillip in Not Without My Anus
The show starts off with the build up from last season's cliffhanger revolving around Cartman's paternal origins. However, just as it seems they are about to get on with the second half of "Cartman's ... 
Informative Murder Porn
The boys use the game of Minecraft as a distraction to keep their parents from hurting each other. 
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Cartman is convinced he is going through puberty since he started bleeding out of his ass. Dr. Mephisto gives Stan some hormones and he takes the entire bottle. Stan gets facial hair, boobs and his voice starts changing. People are waiting outside of Jesus' home to see what kind of miracle he offers which ends up involving a comeback performance of a very old Rod Stewart and eventually an appearance by God.
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