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Weight Gain 4000
Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remembe... 
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Kyle is intimately involved in the development of a revolutionary new product that is about to be launched by Apple. Meanwhile, Cartman does not even have a regular iPad yet. He blames his mother. 
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Randy is determined that Stan will win this year's Pinewood Derby. He comes up with a plan that will ensure Stan a first place trophy. 
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Poor and Stupid
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Cartman wants to race with the pros and he's ready to do whatever it takes to make it happen. He's afraid that no matter how hard he tries, he'll never reach the level of the other NASCAR drivers. Working with Butters as his pit boss, Cartman pulls out all the stops to compete in the race of his life.
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