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Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remembe... 
Stan's addicted to a new app marketed by Terrance and Phillip, but the duo find that all the money they're making can't buy happiness.
Unfulfilled
Jeff Bezos brings Amazon to South Park, but the town fights back against unjust labor standards. 
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Damien
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Eric is handing out invitations to his birthday party at school. Mr. Garrison informs them all that there is a new student joining the class. Announcing to all that he is Damien, the son of Satan. Even as Damien demonstrates his demonic powers the children are more loathsome than impressed.
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