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D-Yikes!
Ms. Garrison's latest date goes so badly that she assigns the class the book report over the weekend, but the boys hire immigrant labor to write it. Meanwhile, Ms. Garrison becomes a lesbian and saves... 
Informative Murder Porn
The boys use the game of Minecraft as a distraction to keep their parents from hurting each other. 
Poor and Stupid
Cartman wants to race with the pros and he's ready to do whatever it takes to make it happen. He's afraid that no matter how hard he tries, he'll never reach the level of the other NASCAR drivers. Wor... 
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In order to get out of school, the boys enter an anti-war demonstration. Not really knowing what they're protesting for, Mr. Garrison decides to teach the boys a lesson by making them write an essay about our founding fathers. Cartman, (being the lazy asshole that he is) says that studying is way too much for a nine-year-old to handle and decides to cook up a crazy scheme in order to get out of it. With a crashing boulder, and electrocution Cartman finally gets what he wants... a flash back.
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