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Eek, A Penis!
While their regular teacher, is busy looking for a way to become the man she always intended to be, Cartman is put in charge. Soon after Cartman takes over, the kids' test scores are on the rise. Cart... 
Conjoined Fetus Lady
Kyle is injured and must go to see the school nurse and is terrified because of the stories he's heard. She looks fairly normal, except for the dead fetus sticking out of her head. Kyle's mother educa... 
Lice Capades
An infestation of head lice plagues South Park Elementary. When Garrison refuses to name names, Cartman finds a way to detect who has lice so they can make fun of the unfortunate kid. 
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Fun With Veal
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When the boys learn where veal comes from on a field trip to the local slaughterhouse, they instantly turn into junior eco-terrorists (call Tom Ridge!). After calf-napping all the future parmigiana meat in town, the boys blockade themselves in Stan's bedroom, where Stan develops a "genital" disease from his diet of fruits and vegetables. Maybe tortured baby cow meat really does a body good.
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