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Weight Gain 4000
Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remembe... 
Coon vs. Coon and Friends
Coon and Friends find themselves at the mercy of Cartman, the Coon who now has the dark lord, Cthulhu, doing his bidding. Kenny wrestles with the curse of his super power through his alter ego, Myster... 
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
South Park Elementary is on stage rehearsing for the schools play. Kyle begins to sing a song about Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo. Of course, no one has any idea what the heck he's singing about. Kyle... 
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The Cissy
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Randy is harboring a giant secret and the pressure is getting to him. Meanwhile, Cartman calls Stan a cissy.
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