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A Ladder to Heaven
Weight Gain 4000
Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remembe... 
Let Them Eat Goo
The citizens of South Park are moving toward a completely plant-based diet. Cartman is pretty sure the new food in the cafeteria gave him a heart attack. 
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At the schools first annual Comedy Awards, Jimmy announces that the Germans are the least funny people in the world. Germany is highly insulted. They vow that retaliation toward the kids at South Park Elementary will be swift and brutal.
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