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Cartman Gets an Anal Probe
While the boys are waiting for the school bus, Cartman explains the odd nightmare he had the previous night involving alien visitors abducting him from his bed. Meanwhile Kyle and Stan try to convince... 
The Cissy
Randy is harboring a giant secret and the pressure is getting to him. Meanwhile, Cartman calls Stan a cissy. 
Cartman Sucks
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Poor and Stupid
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Cartman wants to race with the pros and he's ready to do whatever it takes to make it happen. He's afraid that no matter how hard he tries, he'll never reach the level of the other NASCAR drivers. Working with Butters as his pit boss, Cartman pulls out all the stops to compete in the race of his life.
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