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The Red Badge of Gayness
South Park's Civil War reenactment, sponsored by "Jagerminz S'More Flavored Schnapps," gets out of hand. Cartman persuades the drunken lot to defeat the northerners so that he can win a bet with Kyle ... 
You're Not Yelping
D-Yikes!
Ms. Garrison's latest date goes so badly that she assigns the class the book report over the weekend, but the boys hire immigrant labor to write it. Meanwhile, Ms. Garrison becomes a lesbian and saves... 
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Dead Celebrities
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Otherworldly forces are haunting Ike, who's so freaked out that the stress could kill him. Kyle and the rest of the boys call the Ghost Hunters to see if they can put a stop to the poltergeists tormenting Ike.
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