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The kids at South Park Elementary are being punished for Cartman's failings in the physical education department. What will Cartman do when they all gang up on him? 
The Red Badge of Gayness
South Park's Civil War reenactment, sponsored by "Jagerminz S'More Flavored Schnapps," gets out of hand. Cartman persuades the drunken lot to defeat the northerners so that he can win a bet with Kyle ... 
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D-Yikes!
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Ms. Garrison's latest date goes so badly that she assigns the class the book report over the weekend, but the boys hire immigrant labor to write it. Meanwhile, Ms. Garrison becomes a lesbian and saves the women's bar from a Persian takeover.
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