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Weight Gain 4000
Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remembe... 
You're Not Yelping
The Losing Edge
If the boys can lose just one baseball game, it gets them out of playing the boring sport for the entire summer. 
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Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy
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Cartman is appointed to the post of School Hallway Monitor at South Park Elementary. In his new role, Cartman takes it personally when an infraction is committed in his jurisdiction. When Kyle discovers that a teacher is having sex with a student, he and Cartman have to team up to put a stop to the inappropriate behavior.
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