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Not Funny
Cartman is certain that Butters is trying to steal his girlfriend. 
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The kids at South Park Elementary are being punished for Cartman's failings in the physical education department. What will Cartman do when they all gang up on him? 
Ass Burgers
Cartman finds a unique way of coping with Asperger's Syndrome. Even Kyle and Kenny are on board. Meanwhile, Stan cannot seem to get his life back to normal no matter what he tries. 
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The Red Badge of Gayness
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South Park's Civil War reenactment, sponsored by "Jagerminz S'More Flavored Schnapps," gets out of hand. Cartman persuades the drunken lot to defeat the northerners so that he can win a bet with Kyle and Stan that will make them his slaves for one month.
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