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Douche and Turd
Cat Orgy
Shelly Marsh is babysitting Cartman. Shelly invites her boyfriend over and he in turn invites his band. Cartman has to prove that Shelly has violated the rules. Meanwhile, the Cartman's cat is in heat... 
The Passion of the Jew
Kyle finally sees "The Passion" and is forced to admit Cartman has been right all along. Meanwhile many of the film's hardcore fans band together under Cartman's leadership to carry out it's message. 
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The Red Badge of Gayness
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South Park's Civil War reenactment, sponsored by "Jagerminz S'More Flavored Schnapps," gets out of hand. Cartman persuades the drunken lot to defeat the northerners so that he can win a bet with Kyle and Stan that will make them his slaves for one month.
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