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Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut
Cartman needs to find out who his father is but his mom is no help. Learning that his father could be one of the many people that his mom "had relations" with during an annual party called "The Drunke... 
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The kids at South Park Elementary are being punished for Cartman's failings in the physical education department. What will Cartman do when they all gang up on him? 
Free Hat
The boys campaign to save movies from directors hellbent on "improving them"; unfortunately, the townspeople are consumed with their own campaign to free a convicted baby killer (don't ask). In true H... 
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The Red Badge of Gayness
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South Park's Civil War reenactment, sponsored by "Jagerminz S'More Flavored Schnapps," gets out of hand. Cartman persuades the drunken lot to defeat the northerners so that he can win a bet with Kyle and Stan that will make them his slaves for one month.
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