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Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remembe... 
Taming Strange
Kyle and Ike begin to grow apart when the latter starts puberty, so Kyle attempts to save their relationship by taking Ike to a live performance. 
The Red Badge of Gayness
South Park's Civil War reenactment, sponsored by "Jagerminz S'More Flavored Schnapps," gets out of hand. Cartman persuades the drunken lot to defeat the northerners so that he can win a bet with Kyle ... 
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Prehistoric Ice Man
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Kyle falls into a cave. Stan goes to rescue him and finds an iceman, and the two fight each other for sole credit. Dr. Mephisto discovers that the iceman has been frozen since 1996. The iceman is put on display and the fighting Kyle and Stan free him. The iceman tries to return to his family, but finds himself a man out of time. Meanwhile, the government has their own plans to use the iceman in their plot against Sweden.
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