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The kids at South Park Elementary are being punished for Cartman's failings in the physical education department. What will Cartman do when they all gang up on him? 
Cat Orgy
Shelly Marsh is babysitting Cartman. Shelly invites her boyfriend over and he in turn invites his band. Cartman has to prove that Shelly has violated the rules. Meanwhile, the Cartman's cat is in heat... 
Scott Tenorman Must Die
Cartman goes medieval on Scott Tenorman's ass when ginger-haired Scott tricks our supple hero into buying his pubic hair for $16.12. Radiohead guest stars and plays a role in Cartman's elaborate schem... 
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Ms. Garrison's latest date goes so badly that she assigns the class the book report over the weekend, but the boys hire immigrant labor to write it. Meanwhile, Ms. Garrison becomes a lesbian and saves the women's bar from a Persian takeover.
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