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Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remembe... 
Cancelled
The Simpsons Already Did It
Professor Chaos (okay, it's just Butters) returns with brand new, super evil, schemes to wreak havoc on South Park; unfortunately, the Simpsons have already done them all. Meanwhile, a super secret in... 
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The Passion of the Jew
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Kyle finally sees "The Passion" and is forced to admit Cartman has been right all along. Meanwhile many of the film's hardcore fans band together under Cartman's leadership to carry out it's message.
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