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Eek, A Penis!
While their regular teacher, is busy looking for a way to become the man she always intended to be, Cartman is put in charge. Soon after Cartman takes over, the kids' test scores are on the rise. Cart... 
The Passion of the Jew
Kyle finally sees "The Passion" and is forced to admit Cartman has been right all along. Meanwhile many of the film's hardcore fans band together under Cartman's leadership to carry out it's message. 
Major Boobage
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In order to get out of school, the boys enter an anti-war demonstration. Not really knowing what they're protesting for, Mr. Garrison decides to teach the boys a lesson by making them write an essay about our founding fathers. Cartman, (being the lazy asshole that he is) says that studying is way too much for a nine-year-old to handle and decides to cook up a crazy scheme in order to get out of it. With a crashing boulder, and electrocution Cartman finally gets what he wants... a flash back.
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