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Weight Gain 4000
Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remembe... 
Stanley's Cup
Stan Marsh has hit rock bottom. He's got no job, no bicycle and his only way out of a bad situation, is to coach the local pee wee hockey team. Once a hotshot pee wee hockey player himself, Stan Marsh... 
Fun With Veal
When the boys learn where veal comes from on a field trip to the local slaughterhouse, they instantly turn into junior eco-terrorists (call Tom Ridge!). After calf-napping all the future parmigiana me... 
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Timmy 2000
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There's something wrong with new student Timmy. About the only thing Timmy can do is say his name. Ignorant of the fact that Timmy is "retarded" they believe he has ADD, which relieves him of the responsibility to do any homework. Soon the rest of the class manages to get diagnosed with ADD, and all get prescribed Ritalin. Everyone is on Ritalin and just complacent enough to sit through a Phil Collins show.
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