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The Simpsons Already Did It
Professor Chaos (okay, it's just Butters) returns with brand new, super evil, schemes to wreak havoc on South Park; unfortunately, the Simpsons have already done them all. Meanwhile, a super secret in... 
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
South Park Elementary is on stage rehearsing for the schools play. Kyle begins to sing a song about Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo. Of course, no one has any idea what the heck he's singing about. Kyle... 
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Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut!
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Dr. Mephisto is about to reveal who Eric Cartman's father really is! Glass shatters and gunshots ring out. A mysterious assailant apparently shot Mephisto while the lights were off. Much to Eric's chagrin, they rush Mephisto off to the hospital. Chef rushes out the door with Mephisto in hand. They must fight against time to learn Eric's background, who is his father? Where does he come from?
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