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Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remembe... 
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Wendy tries to prove a point about how much pressure little girls feel to look like celebrities. Her latest soapbox issue gets her in trouble with everyone at school. It also gets Clyde a new girlfrie... 
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Kyle "Friended" the wrong person and now all of his old friends are deserting him. His situation is desperate. Kyle looks for help from the one who has always been there for him.
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