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Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut
Cartman needs to find out who his father is but his mom is no help. Learning that his father could be one of the many people that his mom "had relations" with during an annual party called "The Drunke... 
Professor Chaos
Cartman, Kyle and Stan have been thinking long and hard about Butters' job as the replacement friend since dear sweet Kenny kicked the bucket. Unfortunately they feel that his attempts as nice as they... 
Death
"Happy Birthday" to Stan's Grandpa Marsh who just turned 102. How does the wizened Mr. Marsh feel about his birthday? He sums it up in five words; "I wish I were dead." and proceeds trying to end his ... 
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Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy
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Cartman is appointed to the post of School Hallway Monitor at South Park Elementary. In his new role, Cartman takes it personally when an infraction is committed in his jurisdiction. When Kyle discovers that a teacher is having sex with a student, he and Cartman have to team up to put a stop to the inappropriate behavior.
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