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Tweek x Craig
Kyle and Cartman pit Tweek and Craig against each other. Meanwhile, the boys' wood shop teacher, Mr. Adler, struggles to cope with the loss of his wife, who died in a plane crash. 
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Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remembe... 
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Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
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South Park Elementary is on stage rehearsing for the schools play. Kyle begins to sing a song about Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo. Of course, no one has any idea what the heck he's singing about. Kyle explains that Mr. Hankey comes every year to all the good boys and girls who have a lot of fiber in their diet. Everyone thinks he's insane and sends him to a mental institute.
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